659 Blogging Detox

I have been keeping an undisclosed blog other than this Reindeer. This is my personal diary, though I do not especially like the idea of keeping diary. Reading back my own diary always makes me feel awkward. Anyway I kept it for noting a story and my feelings about a relationship that started, was twisted, came to the end, and totally disappeared. Contrary to general idea that writing ones's own inner feelings can help one to keep a peace of mind, I don't especially find it useful to organize my feelings. I always do organize my feelings, however mixed-up it may be, with inner thoughts or dialogue with my friends or family, without actually writing down them.  

But the diary, or a record of a lost relationship, is of course somewhat awkward, but it is also interesting to look back. I dare to confess that sometimes I was impressed by how much delicately I analyzed and described my feelings and put it into words. I don't sense negative emotion left behind, but find the fact why so many writers create their words driven by the actual event of their life. That's true a relationship is a source of creation, not just because it was a big deal in everyone's life, but also because it shakes us and makes us face with inner ourselves. I remember I had read a life tips saying that the relationship is all about dealing with yourself, not with the partner. 

So it was interesting but I finally found I will not need it any more. The words in the past means little, and rather, to me it is more important to know the journey of following one's  inner events and recording the feelings can be the true resource of creation. Then I removed the blog to detox the relationship.