I was born in the sunny daylight on 12th November 1977. Tomorrow, within an hour I will kick off my 39th year. I haven't taken it seriously to get aged and celebrate the birthday. The concept of "a special day of my life" doesn't fit to me much because I know life sometimes gives me and surprises me by making any given day as a special one. It's totally unpredictable. Given that, however, maybe it's a good idea to celebrate one's birthday as no one can tell when a really special day is coming to you. Maybe the reason we celebrate our birthday is to get ready to expect a real special one.
On the other hand, I've learnt to understand that the normal, usual and ordinary daily life is what we actually should celebrate and appreciate, because everything will be slowly but surely change in the course of time. When the change comes, you might miss your good and old days, your ordinary life the most. Or not... you might embrace the change and your new life. No one can tell.
I would truly appreciate my ordinary life that supports me, while I would embrace the change and surprise that guides me to the new stage of life that is totally unknown.
"Coffee is not a industrialized, mass-production commodity". It's so true in the magnificent Specialty Coffee. But actually I find almost all kinds of coffee is amazing, special magic. Every single cup of daily coffee I drink at home and office and cafe everyday, makes me feel better, different, tranquil, strong, smart, and definitely happy. A cup of coffee can always make a new start like a refreshing daybreak. Coffee is a dream as well as a sunlight. It's a loyal friend who keeps me as I am. Specialty coffee is no doubt precious, special and great. And my daily coffee is also special even if it is an ubiquitous commodity. I think this is something that the film is all about. It's a great anthem for coffee.
In a clouded street where lots of people walking into different direction, you will have problem in going through with passing people in front and side. In order to identify exactly where people you are facing is going to move, I was once told by a veteran "not to watch people's face or eyes, but to watch their feet and steps. The step and the move of the feet will tell you the direction, not their expression." Sometimes I remember this and try to gaze people's feet, such as in a clouded crossing. I'm not sure if this is convincing to all the culture and to all the corner of the cities, but it actually works.
Diamond is the strongest and the most beautiful gemstone on earth. It's interesting that the beauty of it comes from its transparency and unparalleled brilliance in the light, and also from the its unchangeable, hard-core, and eternal existence. Anybody ever has thought of the armor, the shield and the sword made with diamond?
I have been keeping an undisclosed blog other than this Reindeer. This is my personal diary, though I do not especially like the idea of keeping diary. Reading back my own diary always makes me feel awkward. Anyway I kept it for noting a story and my feelings about a relationship that started, was twisted, came to the end, and totally disappeared. Contrary to general idea that writing ones's own inner feelings can help one to keep a peace of mind, I don't especially find it useful to organize my feelings. I always do organize my feelings, however mixed-up it may be, with inner thoughts or dialogue with my friends or family, without actually writing down them.
But the diary, or a record of a lost relationship, is of course somewhat awkward, but it is also interesting to look back. I dare to confess that sometimes I was impressed by how much delicately I analyzed and described my feelings and put it into words. I don't sense negative emotion left behind, but find the fact why so many writers create their words driven by the actual event of their life. That's true a relationship is a source of creation, not just because it was a big deal in everyone's life, but also because it shakes us and makes us face with inner ourselves. I remember I had read a life tips saying that the relationship is all about dealing with yourself, not with the partner.
So it was interesting but I finally found I will not need it any more. The words in the past means little, and rather, to me it is more important to know the journey of following one's inner events and recording the feelings can be the true resource of creation. Then I removed the blog to detox the relationship.
As being a dancer / a dance lover, dance is a part of my life and I take it for granted. But I noticed when I watched a happy dancing flash mob that dance is not usually a natural action in life (of course, I don't suddenly start dancing in the public), and also noticed that our eyes are swiftly attracted by the dance once it starts to move. In a dance studio or a club we never be surprised to see people dancing, so I somehow forgot that only a subtle dance move can catch your eyes in our daily, public, normal and ordinary life. I always focus on my dance in a way of how I can liberate my sense and emotion to be part of the music. But it's better to have the view of how my dance is seen and how it can be paid attention to. It's not about a desire to be seen "cool", but searching for why a dance move can fascinate us so much.
Maybe one of the reasons I keep my blog is that this is the place I can play between the public identity and private identity of myself. I use SNS where I need to (I think I need to) control what I say under my public identity. My family, friends, colleagues, and so many acquaintances watch my post and some of them kindly send me "Likes" and comment back. I enjoy to be paid attention and communicating with them. In blog here, it's a bit different. I do not disclose my real name or identity. Only a handful kind readers who are my family or friend know who the writer is. So for example I can watch a film and post my review on an evening when I skip my firm's dinner. I can enjoy being a free identity. Furthermore, though I have been imposing a discipline on myself to "always write something that might be interesting to unknown reader" since I started this, I am gradually changing my mind not to care much about it. Surely it doesn't mean I write anything - any kind of topic from my job interview, fascinating lunch, unproductive holiday, to my love interest. It's not a diary I can write anything I want. I don't want it because if I write my diary it is not disclosed at all. But here, I may write something I just feel, think, something that is true to my sense but also can be filtered by logic and come into word. I actually "pin" my thoughts here.
